I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
