I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
