so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so explain again why im purple
no
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
