So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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