Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
