Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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