I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
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where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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