this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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