idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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