ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
