just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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