I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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