I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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