there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
