I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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