went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
