No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize