I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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