I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
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It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
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She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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