worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow