the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.