I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.