Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
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Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?