Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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