Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
