Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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(610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt

Replies (6) Good night (2389) Bad night (631)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.

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(419): Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase. http://tfl.nu/7f2q

Replies (32) Good night (700) Bad night (2651)
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(773): View more from Illinois

you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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(773): you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE" http://tfl.nu/hmmg

Replies (17) Good night (6507) Bad night (1180)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

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(717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea

Replies (8) Good night (5453) Bad night (1170)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.

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(843): Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here. http://tfl.nu/2yn8

Replies (5) Good night (1318) Bad night (2928)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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(317): Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake http://tfl.nu/x5vz

Replies (22) Good night (1856) Bad night (4711)
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(360): View more from Washington

Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.

(253): View more from Washington

you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.

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(360): Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone. (253): you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker. http://tfl.nu/ov6f

Replies (3) Good night (2746) Bad night (1194)
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(226): View more from Ontario

This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.

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(226): This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible. http://tfl.nu/a5mz

Replies (6) Good night (2994) Bad night (692)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out

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(505): Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out http://tfl.nu/4j6r

Replies (12) Good night (614) Bad night (1158)
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(914): View more from New York

So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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(914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga

Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (754)
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(425): View more from Washington

Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household

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(425): Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household http://tfl.nu/3bng

Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (414)
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(714): View more from California

I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.

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(714): I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like. http://tfl.nu/0ztf

Replies (0) Good night (601) Bad night (322)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice

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(540): I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice http://tfl.nu/bdyb

Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (386)
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(678): View more from Georgia

If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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(678): If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure http://tfl.nu/x8g2

Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (366)
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(805): View more from California

Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come

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(805): Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come http://tfl.nu/u9o4

Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (644)

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