Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

  (914): View more from New York

  so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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  (443): so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse (914): so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though http://tfl.nu/1ux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4410) Bad night (694)
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  (707): View more from California

  I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

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  (707): I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever http://tfl.nu/38jn
  Replies (51) Good night (6628) Bad night (816)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day

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  (978): i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day http://tfl.nu/1bya
  Replies (27) Good night (4147) Bad night (550)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.

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  (618): He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you." (224): Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out. http://tfl.nu/vy5b
  Replies (8) Good night (1771) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best

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  (630): I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/gccv
  Replies (6) Good night (1779) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.

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  (714): They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost. http://tfl.nu/dynq
  Replies (3) Good night (1981) Bad night (725)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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  (478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6
  Replies (3) Good night (1052) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily

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  (815): And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily http://tfl.nu/5rme
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.

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  (217): Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack. http://tfl.nu/wwoa
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

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  (613): Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out http://tfl.nu/hcl3
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later

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  (919): That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later http://tfl.nu/qro9
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus

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  (585): He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus http://tfl.nu/4ztr
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.

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  (612): I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed. http://tfl.nu/fusc
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.

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  (801): Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword. http://tfl.nu/ixwe
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (162)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.

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  (928): He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this. http://tfl.nu/qphe
  Replies (2) Good night (54) Bad night (160)

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