Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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  (732): Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD. http://tfl.nu/fbqj
  Replies (9) Good night (622) Bad night (3161)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

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  (614): So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night http://tfl.nu/bxgc
  Replies (13) Good night (6602) Bad night (683)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."

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  (403): We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I." http://tfl.nu/5568
  Replies (25) Good night (4301) Bad night (926)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.

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  (617): Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club. http://tfl.nu/jnj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (3815)
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  (585): View more from New York

  there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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  (585): there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk http://tfl.nu/9sjy
  Replies (21) Good night (1613) Bad night (3924)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...

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  (620): Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me... http://tfl.nu/2n11
  Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (2429)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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  (678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn
  Replies (5) Good night (912) Bad night (2385)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.

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  (724): Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote. http://tfl.nu/ighh
  Replies (26) Good night (4009) Bad night (1658)
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  (916): View more from California

  We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench

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  (916): We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench http://tfl.nu/ch9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1948) Bad night (752)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.

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  (330): No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/d0l1
  Replies (3) Good night (2134) Bad night (766)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro

  (773): View more from Illinois

  yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?

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  (708): is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro (773): yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house. (708): how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience? http://tfl.nu/hgr9
  Replies (10) Good night (5376) Bad night (829)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.

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  (313): So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk. http://tfl.nu/79dj
  Replies (4) Good night (2179) Bad night (658)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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  (647): I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!" http://tfl.nu/1iw3
  Replies (3) Good night (2062) Bad night (384)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart

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  (407): Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart http://tfl.nu/psb2
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (278)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.

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  (512): How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries. http://tfl.nu/pkrn
  Replies (4) Good night (650) Bad night (306)

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