Nicole vs. Life
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
