Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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