Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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