and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize