your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
