Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
