so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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