Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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