It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
