P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
