my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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