Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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