Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
