I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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