After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
