I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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