i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
