Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
