i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
