I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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