maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
