At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
