i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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