You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
