Swine flu. Run for my life!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
