My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize