whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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