Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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