forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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