I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
