I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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