I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
