He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
