Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
