i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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