whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
