i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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