I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
