Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
