ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize