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...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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