we're blogging at a bar
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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