I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Randomize
