i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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