Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
