I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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