i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize