So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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